I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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