do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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