I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
