I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
