Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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