Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
