"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
