oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
