whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
