and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize