i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
