I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
