My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
