I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment