Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?