R you on birth control?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.