Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm drive I can fine osifer

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  (212): I'm drive I can fine osifer http://tfl.nu/zjuj
  Replies (28) Good night (1295) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.

  (951): View more from California

  sound pretty economical

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  (434): Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood. (951): sound pretty economical http://tfl.nu/xtyc
  Replies (11) Good night (2946) Bad night (467)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I need to stop coming to work sober

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  (808): I need to stop coming to work sober http://tfl.nu/5deo
  Replies (10) Good night (3251) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.

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  (908): I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11. http://tfl.nu/hmrj
  Replies (37) Good night (947) Bad night (9075) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2471) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2781) Bad night (606)
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  (858): View more from California

  Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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  (858): Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/33hl
  Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

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  (406): you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday http://tfl.nu/fxk1
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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  (816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b
  Replies (6) Good night (1920) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3433) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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  (+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs
  Replies (13) Good night (377) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.

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  (619): he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/fyou
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.

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  (512): Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/nub3
  Replies (6) Good night (621) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (238)

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