I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew