So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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