i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
