She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
