its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize