My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
