At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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