Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
