So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
