Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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