watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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