Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
