I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
