Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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