I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
