brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My liver just broke up with me...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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