When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
