I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
