i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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