Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
