Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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