I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight