I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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