Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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