I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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