her vagine was all disorganized.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
