my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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