My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
