Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize