what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
