Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
