Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle