i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
