The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
