theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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