I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
