She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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