Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize