Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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