matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
