yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
