Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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