Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im holly from the hills drunk
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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