Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize