it wasn't lemon gatorade
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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